This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
