but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
