I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
