I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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