I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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