Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize