If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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