I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize
