She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
