I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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