i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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