You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
