i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
