plz talk dirty to me
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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