Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
this hospital has no fireball
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
