I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
