I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
