I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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