Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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