Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
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