i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You can't special order awesome
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
