a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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