doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I can't put those talents on a resume
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
