Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
