I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
