sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
