I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Let's paint friendship bongs
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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