I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize