Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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