this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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