If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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