Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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