can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I have post one night stand depression
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