I hate all girls vehemently.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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