Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
