On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
