i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
