She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
