Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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