you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
