i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
