East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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