hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize