Duck Duck Cougar?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
