she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
