i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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