dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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