the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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