the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
