I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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