how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
