you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just googled if crying burns calories
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
