That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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