Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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