He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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