the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize