My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
