my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
