It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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