do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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