Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
