The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize